In this highly connected world, it took me 4 months to learn that my friend Marcia had died while scuba diving off the Sidney coast on 7 October 2013.
In the meantime, I was busy taking care of myself. That’s when the renovation works of the sheds of my house in the south of France started. I was sharing my time between the south and Paris. I had dentist’s appointments. Plenty. I was also busy saving my marriage.
In November our former aerobics instructor in Kuala Lumpur passed away and I left a message on facebook to Marcia, who did not answer, it was strange she did not react. I assumed she had kept her account but was not logging in anymore. Some people do that. I was used, since the time I had left KL not to chat too often with her, 2 or 3 times a year, each time there were great conversations, you could feel the love, respect and friendship were present, each time we would promise each other that would be the year of our reunion. I knew Sam her husband and I had met quickly with 2 of her 3 adult children, Lissa, and Andrew when in KL between 2000 and 2004. But I am not surprised that they did not try to let me know, 9 years had passed since we had met in Malaysia, they might not even have known Marcia and I had not stopped being friends.
So yesterday, I thought this silence was too awkward, too heavy, not acceptable. It occurred to me I should visit her facebook page first before trying to email her or anything. Maybe I missed a post or some photos. What I saw , I had not in the least expected it : messages of sympathy and condolences, because she had died on 7 October 2013, while diving one morning off the Sidney coast in Australia.
Ironically, the news took more time to reach me than if they had been ship mailed in the 18th century from Australia to Europe.
People take for granted nowadays that we get the right piece of information instantaneously and in bulks because it has been handed over to the virtual world supposed to be fast, inescapable and reliable. You don’t need to address and inform people personally, specially in those globalized times.
Well proof here that it doesn’t work this way necessarily. I had unchecked as recommended and asked by most friends, the notifications concerning them on facebook. Hence I was not seeing on my wall the posts others were writing on her page. Obviously I was not a peep either.
Today I have to deal with my sorrow and the shock of my friend’s violent accidental death.
I am also thinking that one should never postpone to visit a friend. It should always be the right time before too late. I wish I were a better friend. Here’s to you Marcia.